Me & my horses.

- the trails of my life

Heather's Blog

Time to update.

Posted by Heather on December 29, 2013 at 10:40 AM

This year has been, rough? 

I went through a long period of depression. Exercise and counseling has helped me a lot. I've lost 20 pounds (maybe minus a few, thanks Christmas! lol) and I've been really learning to be myself again. I have a lot of things to work through but, I'm doing it. 

The saddest thing, to me, is how dissapointed I am in the fact that Aaron and I were promised things that never happened. He's having trouble at work, still. I got banished from my MIL's barn after being ruthlessly attacked verbally by her and her boyfriend. Two of her horses died this month and both for reasons I would call neglect. That brings her number up to ... six horses now that I KNOW she played a part in their deaths. I tried to help, but there is only so much you can do. 

I guess it's a blessing in disguise,  I no longer have to go break my back for nothing. I also don't have to see the wasted beautiful facility any more or the horses in their conditions. Keeping toxic things out of my life is a process and that is just one part of it. I mean after THIS, who wouldn't? 

All the things I do and have done for you it's the attitude that is not becoming and the self righteous you owe me attitude that disturbs me! 

Your unhappiness is because of you and no one else. You need to appreciate things and wake up to reality that you're not the one and only. -- Appreciate things and work together without the 'better than thou attitude'.

I put a lot of money in her through the years. (7+\-) shots, feeding etc. You should just give her to me! But no you act like a spoiled girl wanting everyone to take care of you.

We are no closer to moving out of the model house. I am still grateful and blessed to have this roof over my head, it's a lovely house but not what we wanted for our future. The house in GA hasn't sold and A. We don't really want to move back there B. while it's for sale we can't finance any other home. It's okay for now though, we have this one. 

Aaron is going to get a POC Firefighter job for our city. I know he's excited about that, maybe it will open some more doors for him? I'm still trying to figure out what to do with myself. I want to contribute financially as well as all the other ways I contribute. I mean, my horse is boarded out and I hate that Aaron is paying for it out of 'his' money. I want to take care of my own hobby costs? 

Looking back at what I wrote a year ago, it's pretty upsetting that nothing has changed. In fact, lots of things have gotten worse. I'm ready for a change and I feel one coming. I can only take so much. 

Categories: General

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